help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
