I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Randomize
