She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
