And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
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