This is not my ceiling
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
