i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
if only i could text you this smell
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Randomize
