so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize