apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
