I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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