he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
