No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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