And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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