If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
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