I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
