So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
