The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize