it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
do herpes really smell.
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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