Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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