we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Randomize
