Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Randomize
