you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
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