Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
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