It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
