I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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