That's intense
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
he high fived his dick after we had sex
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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