I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
my nose is crying tears of wow.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
Randomize