Where did you get a picture of my penis
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I supernannyed him into submission
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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