uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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