Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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