I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I just forgot I was standing up.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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