No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize