we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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