i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
