eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Randomize
