Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Randomize
