i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
