You don't have asthma, your pregnant
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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