hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
There are leaves in my underwear?
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
