Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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