fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
