I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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