You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Randomize
