porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize