So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
