Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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