Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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