Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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