he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
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