You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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