And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
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