On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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