I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
His nipple licking is glorious
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