THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Randomize
