Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize
