I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Holy shit, Uber is testing a service to summon an ice cream truck.
Bring me the penis of the founder so I may endlessly fellate him. Or cunnalinge. I don't discriminate.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
