The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Randomize
