So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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