i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
