sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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