She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
Randomize
