operation have a gay friend backfired
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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