More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Randomize