I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
