lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
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