thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
